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Hearing Their Voice: The Importance of a Phone Chat Before the Big Meet
You have been chatting on line for months now with a special someone. You know their favorite color, their favorite
animal, and their favorite song. Maybe it feels like you know everything there is to know about them. Online dating
can certainly provide a sense of intimacy that is nearly impossible to emulate in a real life setting. In a sense,
online dating is kind of old fashioned. If you think about it, online dating is a little like old-fashioned dating,
when couples sent romantic letters to one another, except today, couples send romantic emails.
Why e-mail is just not enough
So you have been e-mailing for several weeks, or maybe even several months. You feel like you could tell your
online sweetheart just about everything, and email gives you the sense of privacy and confidence that you need to
be intimate with your online boyfriend or girlfriend. Or perhaps this is a new person, someone you just met on one
of the Internet's many popular dating web sites. Perhaps you have even exchanged pictures. Still, no matter how
much you think you know about your online sweetheart, you really don't know all that much about them until you have
talked to them and heard their voice. E-mail can only do so much for a relationship. Eventually, you will have to
talk, and eventually you will have to meet in person. Here are some tips for getting to know your online love
interest through the important medium of a telephone conversation.
Tips for getting to know your online sweetheart on the telephone
What should you look for when you first speak with your online love interest over the telephone? There are several
things you should make a note to of when talking to your online sweetheart before the first time. First, take the
time to get to know their voice. Do you find it pleasant? Although it may not seem entirely relevant, research has
shown that people are attracted to certain distinct voices. Next, the most important thing is to gauge how your
conversational style matches theirs. Do you tend to talk more? Do they dominate the conversation, or do they fail
to keep up their part of the conversation? Did they use offensive speech or bad language? Does their style seem to
match yours? Remember, this person is a potential partner. You want to make sure it is someone you can truly be
open with.
Conducting the informal interview
One of the most important things you should do before at the meeting and online of interest in person is to conduct
a kind of informal interview over the phone. Of course, you do not want them to know you are conducting an
interview. You are simply trying to get to know this person better. You should spend at least twenty minutes
chatting on the telephone. Confirm the personal information that you have exchanged over the Internet. Make sure
that your online interest is consistent about their personal history. If the person appears to vary their answers
considerably, you may want to be careful. This is a warning sign that something is not right.
Considerations for scheduling your first meeting
Before you schedule your first meeting with your online interest, you will want to make sure to take certain
precautions. First, make sure you meet in a public setting. That means cafes, shopping centers, or other large open
public spaces. Second, you want to make sure that you tell someone exactly where you are going and how long you
will be there. Carry a cell phone and give your number to a trusted friend. Finally, make the plan with your online
interest about the length of your date.
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