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Hearing Their Voice: The Importance of a Phone Chat Before the Big Meet

You have been chatting on line for months now with a special someone. You know their favorite color, their favorite animal, and their favorite song. Maybe it feels like you know everything there is to know about them. Online dating can certainly provide a sense of intimacy that is nearly impossible to emulate in a real life setting. In a sense, online dating is kind of old fashioned. If you think about it, online dating is a little like old-fashioned dating, when couples sent romantic letters to one another, except today, couples send romantic emails.

Why e-mail is just not enough

So you have been e-mailing for several weeks, or maybe even several months. You feel like you could tell your online sweetheart just about everything, and email gives you the sense of privacy and confidence that you need to be intimate with your online boyfriend or girlfriend. Or perhaps this is a new person, someone you just met on one of the Internet's many popular dating web sites. Perhaps you have even exchanged pictures. Still, no matter how much you think you know about your online sweetheart, you really don't know all that much about them until you have talked to them and heard their voice. E-mail can only do so much for a relationship. Eventually, you will have to talk, and eventually you will have to meet in person. Here are some tips for getting to know your online love interest through the important medium of a telephone conversation.

Tips for getting to know your online sweetheart on the telephone

What should you look for when you first speak with your online love interest over the telephone? There are several things you should make a note to of when talking to your online sweetheart before the first time. First, take the time to get to know their voice. Do you find it pleasant? Although it may not seem entirely relevant, research has shown that people are attracted to certain distinct voices. Next, the most important thing is to gauge how your conversational style matches theirs. Do you tend to talk more? Do they dominate the conversation, or do they fail to keep up their part of the conversation? Did they use offensive speech or bad language? Does their style seem to match yours? Remember, this person is a potential partner. You want to make sure it is someone you can truly be open with.

Conducting the informal interview

One of the most important things you should do before at the meeting and online of interest in person is to conduct a kind of informal interview over the phone. Of course, you do not want them to know you are conducting an interview. You are simply trying to get to know this person better. You should spend at least twenty minutes chatting on the telephone. Confirm the personal information that you have exchanged over the Internet. Make sure that your online interest is consistent about their personal history. If the person appears to vary their answers considerably, you may want to be careful. This is a warning sign that something is not right.

Considerations for scheduling your first meeting

Before you schedule your first meeting with your online interest, you will want to make sure to take certain precautions. First, make sure you meet in a public setting. That means cafes, shopping centers, or other large open public spaces. Second, you want to make sure that you tell someone exactly where you are going and how long you will be there. Carry a cell phone and give your number to a trusted friend. Finally, make the plan with your online interest about the length of your date.